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I need a change.
School is hard and change is great.
New journal: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) socialretardx.
I was loathe to add the x at the end, like everyone and their mother is doing these days -- but "socialretard" was already taken.
Just think of my new username like Mutant X... except my super power is doing the robot in public and filling in awkward conversational moments with colourful stories about my cat.feelin' :  refreshed listening to : Sweet Ones / Sarah Slean |
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1. I am 22. Somedays I feel 100. Others I feel 12. Perhaps I should just start rounding off.
2. I love collecting journals that I hardly ever use.
3. Because of the internet, writing things out has become both hard and overly complicated. I need to learn shorthand. Or how to retain information a la Mr. Memory.
4. I love my cat. We spend a lot of time together. Someday it will be just me and him and the bourbon.
5. Boys are hard. Being single is ten times easier than any relationship.
6. I am afraid of strange things. Elk, for instance. And worms.
7. I tried Lavalife once. Our brief love affair ended because people are crazy.
8. I love Marianne Faithfull. And Janis Joplin. I wish I was one and I identify with the other.
9. Even though Marianne Faithfull had this whole junkie thing going. Whatever. Marianne Faithfull pre/post drugs.
10. I like to make new words out of pre-existing words. Like "asshattery", "social retard" and "cak".
11. I love hats. Hats do not love me.
( The rest. ) |
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Dec. 3rd, 2005 @ 03:43 pm
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Had the shoot today.
Wore fancy mittens. I get retardedly excited about winter wear, just go with it.
Everything went pretty awesomely. Will be dropping off equipment soon.
Woke up at 6:20 this morning.
Am pretty much ready for a nap three hours ago.
Viv and el are my cold weather heroes.
Thanks, bitches.listening to : I HUNG MY HEAD, FUCKERS / JOHNNY CASH. DEAL WITH IT. |
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Lately I've been listening to --
Who's To Say - Vanessa Carlton
I Hung My Head - Johnny Cash
Fancy - Reba McEntire (Shut up.)
Eve, the Apple of My Eye - Bell x1
Fall Behind Me - The Donnas
O Sailor - Fiona Apple
Sound of Silence - Emiliana Torrini
Cellophane - Amanda Ghost
The Gentleman Who Fell - Milla Jovovich
Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin
Skinned - Blind Melon
When I Was A Young Girl - Feist
And listen to "I Hung My Head" AND TRY NOT TO CRY. TRY. I DARE YOU. |
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How about you don't ride the ass of my car on slippery roads under snowy conditions? The sound of my tires squealing against the ice? And then me kind of skidding around the intersection? MAYBE NOT FOR FUN. This is not Stars on Ice, and I don't look good in leotard.
I hate to dust off an old chestnut, but this is not prison, my car is not that hot, so how about you don't ASS RAPE MY VEHICLE.
Also, to the guys who thought dressing in black in the middle of a snowstorm and running out in front of my car was superb idea, FUCK YOU ALL.
ARE YOU RETARDED? Seriously. Maybe you should just get back in front of my car because YOU DESERVE TO BE RUN DOWN.
STOP BEING RETARDED.
Lots of love,
Sarah |
| » Unconscious Mutterings |
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- Stuffed:: Turkey
- Armstrong:: Town
- Bruise:: Purple
- Content:: Webpage
- Musical:: Dancing
- Assistance:: Retail
- Scrambling:: Eggs
- Battle:: Vikings
- Extended:: Assignment
- Discount:: Store
Nov. 28th, 2005 @ 04:50 pm
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| » Bella |
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I was going through some of my Nan's old pictures earlier tonight. The woman had a lot of pictures.
I don't know who everyone is -- I'm generally not as close with my mom's side of the family as much as I am with my dad's side.
When I was a kid, my Grandma used to sit me at her big wooden kitchen table and go through books of photos with me, telling me tales of drama and love -- forbidden marriage between a Lady and the Coachman, an ancestor who travelled with Florence Nightingale but was sent home in disgrace after getting pregnant, the young Sovereign girl who was the last victim in an "Angel of Death" case, and Jonathan Sovereign, who murdered almost his entire family with an axe.
I'm sure there was some family drama on my mom's side, but you really can't tell via the pictures.
Bella was my great grandmother and I was named after her. She looks a little stiff and harsh in this picture, but come on. Get a few vodka into this woman and I'm sure she'd rock your world.
Nov. 26th, 2005 @ 12:19 am
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| » Elvis is my bitch. |
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Yeah... midnight snack. I think I might just throw up.
I've been super busy. School, school and school. Off around December the 16th, though. Score. I am going to get really, really drunk and wear party hats and dance to Men Without Hats like nobody's business. Usher in the season of giving with some carols and eggnog over at the community hall. COUNTDOWN THE DAYS UNTIL MELLERS COMES HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, SO THAT I CAN MEET HER AT THE AIRPORT AND FINALLY GO GET MY EYEBROWS WAXED BECAUSE GOING BACK TO HER SALON WHEN SHE ISN'T THERE MAKES ME CRY.
Seriously. I made an appointment at her old salon a little while ago, because I thought "Enough is enough, I look like a crazed old professor who might trade sexual favours for mildly upgraded term papers, time to get the ol' eyebrows waxed." But when the time came to go to my appointment, I sat in the parking lot and CRIED. I may just be retarded. THEY ARE OUT OF CONTROL.
Some songs I'm diggin' right this very minute:
The Gentlemen Who Fell - Milla Jovovich
Mend - Jann Arden
Anything from the Home Alone Christmas soundtrack. Deal with it.
Also, Dolly Parton and Kenny Roger's Christmas Album. Hotter by the minute.
Hurt - Johnny Cash
Foolish Heart - Steve Perry!!!!!!!!!!!1111one
Coffee Stain - Sarah Harmer
When I Was A Young Girl - Feist
Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley. That's right.
When I was a kid I used to roller blade around my backyard with a ghetto blaster, and the ghetto blaster played nothing but Elvis Presley's Greatest Hits on tape.
There are three things wrong with the above sentence:
1) Do people even say ghetto blaster anymore? Did I live in a ghetto? Why ghetto blaster? Are they just called stereo's now? All this newfangled language all the teenage hoodlums use. I am overwhelmed.
2) Roller blading. Possibly in spandex. Probably in spandex. Okay. Full on spandex unitard in a sassy print of neon pinks, greens and oranges. The only pictures I have of me wearing it, I'm sitting with my legs open -- always a lady -- and you can actually see my -- well. Nevermind. THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS IT'S NOT ON THE INTERNET.
3) I have no idea why I didn't get the utter shite kicked out of me back in elementary school. I WOULD INVITE PEOPLE OVER WITH THE PROMISE OF, "Hey, you want to come back to my house? I have some roller blades and ELVIS PRESLEY ON MY GHETTO BLASTER. WE CAN ROCK UNTIL WE DROP, and THEN WE CAN PRACTICE ALL THE CHOREOGRAPHY FROM REBA MCINTYRE'S "TAKE IT BACK" THAT I'VE MEMORIZED BECAUSE I WATCH NOTHING BUT COUNTRY MUSIC TELEVISION ALL DAY LONG."
Nov. 25th, 2005 @ 02:16 am
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| » Sex Education for Special People |
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Most hilariously disturbing video ever.
Freakiest thing ever when the woman talking about vaginas sounds like Lady Elaine Fairchilde from Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood.
Nov. 19th, 2005 @ 03:34 pm
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| » Chuck Norris Rules |
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Forward from dmacgills. Everyone loves Chuck Norris. Even if you say you don't, even if you'd rather slit your wrists than watch "Walker: Texas Ranger" again, deep inside ... deep inside you don't really mean that.
( >When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, 'Don't worry about it honey,' and went into his backyard. He
came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and
when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and
came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done
it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, 'Never
question Chuck Norris.' )
Nov. 17th, 2005 @ 02:48 pm
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| » WITH BELLS ON, mothafuckas. |
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Christmas is coming.
Time to dust off the following:
- Kenny and Dolly's Christmas Album. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THEM. DON'T PRETEND.
- Muppet Family Christmas.
- Home Alone. Macauley Culkin pre-crazy / The Jackson Years.
- A Very Ally Christmas. Where Robert Downey Jr. sings his little drug addled heart out.
Plus my wishlist, which features things like a t-shirt press, Marianne Faithfull's 20th Century Blues, apartment things like cappucino cups, bowls, lamps and posters, graphic novels like "The Sandman" 2 - end and the Illustrated Stardust by Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess.
I'm also putting together my list for other people. It's very exciting. Christmas shopping. Maybe I'll even start early this year. (Aka, not a week before the day.)
Nov. 16th, 2005 @ 06:02 pm
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| » Further memeness. |
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via marsden_online --
( What my birth month says about me )
I don't know if that's true or not. futurecatlady and I talk about charm all the time, but our charm kind of involves doing the robot in public and saying "Thanks for the lake!"
( My Inner Child is.. )
I am usually fascinated by all sorts of stuff. Sometimes I get so excited about that kind of thing that I CLAP MY HANDS WITH JOY. Especially if there are kittens, and those kittens are wearing hats and having faux tea parties.
Nov. 15th, 2005 @ 12:12 am
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| » A tale of two memes. |
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( Meme #1 )
2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
....sense of humour. Because I will make a joke out of anything, no matter how inappropriate, especially if I'm nervous or genuinely upset. Eg, I am GREAT AT FUNERALS.
....understanding
2 truths
....I hate winter.
....Sometimes I have to turn off MSN's "What I'm Listening To" just so I can listen to a little Reba McIntyre IN PEACE.
2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex)
....sense of humour
....eyes
2 of your favorite hobbies
....photography
....Internet, I love you. Let's never part.
2 things you want really badly
....A little bit of Mazlo's self-actualization pyramid
....A puppy. I would name her Lola and feed her everyday and take her for walks and feed her inappropriate things like bacon and ... what the hell else is inappropriate. Toothpaste. Dogs love it.
2 places you want to go on vacation
....New Zealand
....Ireland
2 things you want to do before you die
....Laugh.
....Jig. Nothing says imminent death like some fine ass deathbed jigging.
2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick
....When I get sad, apparently all I need to do is PUT ON A LITTLE LIPSTICK.
....boy attention makes me giggle like a retard surrounded by fluffy kittens.
2 things you are thinking about now
....I hope my film turns out.
....I should not have had that Oriental Chicken Salad. Fuck you, Applebees.
2 stores you shop at
....Global Experiences. I can afford nothing.
....Blacks Photo / Primary Photo
2 people i would like to see take this quiz?
nienor_el, lyrai
and,
Tagged by amy_magnolia
Seven songs I'm digging right now:
01) The Mariner's Revenge Song - The Decemberists. A great story put to music. I love songs like this.
02) Hustler's Ambition - 50 Cent. For when I'm pimpin'.
03) River of Sorrow - Antony and the Johnsons. Be prepared to want to crawl in a hole and die after listening to this song.
04) Lola - The Kinks. I love this song. Oddly, it reminds me of William Shatner. And who doesn't love the Shat. Besides that, though, it's just.. fantasmic.
( More of Meme #2 )
(Both memes via amy_magnolia
Nov. 14th, 2005 @ 04:15 pm
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| » Tonight involved a lot of nakedness. Plus the robot. |
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I am freaking out about my film tomorrow, so I went out with Laura because nothing takes my mind off of imminent failure like a little bit of classy social retardation, possibly with hats, definitely with smack in the form of southwestern potato skins.
We also met the Internet. As some of you may know, Laura and I refer to the Internet as if it were omnipresent being, who sometimes we invite out. Like to yard sales or cribbage games. Plus, the Internet is wild when it drinks. If you lose track of the Internet, it's liable it's because the Internet is making out with a big guy named Rocco in the corner, (drives a motorcycle, wears assless chaps and has a secret love for The View because Barbara Walters is such a foxy bitch.), or is dancing up a storm on one of the side amps, drunkenly slapping away the bouncer's attempts to pull it down by screaming, "KISS MY FEET. YOU SHOULD BE KISSING MY FEET. WHERE IS YOUR MANAGER?"
So the Internet met up with us tonight in the form of some guy from Lavalife. Laura and I brought the charm, like always. She started off showing him how she does the Robot, and I finished with my own version of powering the Robot down. In the restaurant. It was all sort of like that time I went to Laura's birthday party, was introduced to the majority of her friends and their extended family, and then preceded to strip down and go swimming. "Hi, nice to meet you, CAN I TAKE OFF MY PANTS YET." Luckily no pants were removed in the course of the evening. Boston Pizza frowns on that, I've heard.
After parting ways with the Internet and spending the next ten minutes practically banging her head on the dashboard while saying, "I can't believe I brought up Chyna's Playboy spread." Laura drove us to Dave's house, where we kidnapped him and were almost eaten by his dogs, and then to Patrick's, who wasn't home because he was out Mormonizing the Photoworld. We picked him up at Walmart, and from there decided, "Hey, all, wouldn't it be utterly amusing -- an absolute lark to go to an establishment of naked, ill repute?"
And that's how we ended up at the strip club. "Where do you look?" I asked. "Like seriously. It's like the elephant in the room, except the elephant is a giant gyrating vagina." I kept looking around to see if anyone I knew was there -- some well respected church member, my tenth grade teacher, the pervert who lives across the street and sometimes dresses up like a pirate for NO REASON, but was utterly disappointed. Apparently the majority of the people sort of oozed up from the cracks of Thunder Bay to sit at the stage, wearing big glasses, Polaris jackets and looking... sticky.
Film tomorrow. Wish me luck. Right now it's ... well. I think that was thunder. Fantastic.
(Cross posted to Dragon Ink because updates are great but I am lazy.)
Nov. 13th, 2005 @ 12:24 am
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| » Nervous. |
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At Dragon Ink, because of extreme boredom and morbid curiosity, it's International Lurker Day. Or was. Yesterday. But lurker comments still totally count. I am just throwing that out there.
Shoot tomorrow -- Christy's doing her film and nienor_el is acting in it. I will be hovering around holding reflectors, offering my car and freaking out because I'm shooting on Sunday and feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.
I also need to alert the police. After all, we are running down the The Etter with a car. I'm not entirely certain, but I think that's generally something that people phone 911 for. So maybe a heads-up along the lines of "I'M RUNNING SOMEONE DOWN ON SUNDAY" would be nice, or perhaps someone can just hold up a big sign that says, "IT'S PERSPECTIVE, BITCHES. Go watch tv."
If worse comes to worse we'll shoot the scene and Sarah E can immediately get up after and ... I don't know. Dance the dance of life. "EVERYTHING IS FINE. BE ENTRANCED BY MY JIG OF FINE HEALTH."
Nov. 10th, 2005 @ 01:57 am
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| » Random Space Babble |
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Squidgen--->A boy in a pink shirt has my poor little emo heart. says:
exactly. and all my numbers are onmy cell, which is dead. i couldn't remember anyone's number. it was...kind of scary. just how much society's really come to rely on technology.
Squidgen--->A boy in a pink shirt has my poor little emo heart. says:
see, see what i come up with when i hav eno internet!?
"blondes have more fun. but brunettes can read." says:
philosophizing about how we'd all perish and melt and go crazy nuts without the internet lol
"blondes have more fun. but brunettes can read." says: (name stolen from childofcrow's awesome, awesome shirt.)
well. maybe not melt.
( and more of this ilk )
Nov. 5th, 2005 @ 12:59 pm
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| » halloween, i love you. |
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Happy Halloween, bitches!
And I promise to stop referring to everyone as "bitches" really, really soon.
Oct. 31st, 2005 @ 03:18 pm
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| » This Halloween I am going as THE MARY. |
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"The Mary" aka, the role in the Sunday School Christmas Play that I coveted above all else. I was willing to kill, or at least mildly maim, for the chance to hold the plastic baby Jesus in my arms and be the center of the entire play.
Some may argue that the central theme of the Christmas Story is about the birth of Jesus Christ and maybe, if you are pushing it, about all the cute stable animals that gather around the manger, but they are all wrong. The central theme of the Christmas Story is about who gets to play the Virgin Mary and thus get the attention of everyone in the audience. Even at six I was trying to find a way to make Christmas ALL ABOUT ME and my PARTY DRESS AND MARY JANE SHOES.
Let's not even talk about how I probably anointed myself the expert on the entire Mary experience. "The Virgin Mary loved chocolate chip cookies, and I feel, to play her properly, I am going to need lot's of those. .... lot's of those and some kittens."
Anyways, I was just thinking, and possibly considering (because costumes are optional. And hard.) that I might go as The Mary as Halloween. A robe and a plastic baby Jesus and I can relive the golden days of my childhood insanity.
I have probably mentioned this before, but what the hell, I can't get enough of retelling the same stories. One year, my parents had no idea what I was going to be for Halloween. I was eleven or twelve and some might say getting too old for trick or treating. (I trick or treated until 17. How's that for cool beyond measurement.) So, as the time for going out loomed ever closer, in a panic I began to search through old clothes for something, anything.
My dad answered my question of what to be for Halloween with bandages, a crutch, and a flashing bicycle light which he attached to my forehead and set on continuous blink. After I was all wrapped up and my friends were standing at the door wondering when the hell we would be able to go out and get candy, my dad, mad with joy exclaimed, "That's it. You're a .... are you ready? Walking disaster."
Then, because as much as he might not want to admit it, he knew I would be taking off that blinking light and half those bandages as soon as I got out the door, he followed us down the block, and everytime someone opened the door to our call of "Trick or Treat!" he yelled, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE IS? SHE'S A WALKING DISASTER. SHOW THEM THE BLINKING LIGHT, SARAH."
Oct. 29th, 2005 @ 12:19 am
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| » via witch_kat |
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| My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul |
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| stormofstars goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a giant purple gumball. | | _blackkitty_ gives you 16 green strawberry-flavoured pieces of taffy. | | amy_magnolia gives you 19 orange lime-flavoured pieces of bubblegum. | | amyntas_77 tricks you! You lose 32 pieces of candy! | | cherokeelovebat gives you 3 tan lemon-flavoured gummy bats. | | dmacgills gives you 4 dark green licorice-flavoured jawbreakers. | | empatterson gives you 16 pink evil-flavoured pieces of bubblegum. | | futurecatlady tricks you! You get a block of wood. | | goldeneyed tricks you! You lose 7 pieces of candy! | | greyduck72 gives you 10 light yellow strawberry-flavoured wafers. | | i_sometimes gives you 18 teal lemon-flavoured gummy bats. | | stormofstars ends up with 47 pieces of candy, and a block of wood. | | Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. |
Oct. 22nd, 2005 @ 09:43 pm
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